Felicity's Search
by FallRose
Summary: After Ben disappears Felicity tries to move on, but something in her heart tells her that a true patriot will fight for what they want and not settle. Please Review! Story continued in Finding a New World
1. Chapter 1

**1778**

Felicity Merriman awoke with a start: Ben is turning 18 today! Throwing the red and white checkered coverlet off, she quickly dressed and raced down the stairs in a panic, bumping into her father as she turned the corner into the dining room.

"Patience my wild girl," Felicity's father said placing his hands on her shoulders to steady her.

"Father, today is Ben's 18th birthday!" Felicity exclaimed. The pained look in her father's eyes showed that he understood, "Don't worry, my child, he has not left." And he kissed her on the cheek and headed out the front door and to his store. Felicity slid into her chair at the breakfast table.

"Happy birthday, Ben," she said.

"Hap birtay! Hap birtay!" Felicity's two-year old sister Polly sang, banging her wooden spoon against the table until Mother removed the spoon from her sticky fist, "Yes, you have my warmest birthday wishes, dear," turning her attention back to the table.

"Do you have any special birthday wishes," Felicity's six-year old brother questioned causing all around the table to cast down their eyes. Felicity glared at her brother, but if Ben noticed he said naught. He relieved himself from the table and tussled William's brown curls, "We all have wishes in times like these. I must be getting to the store; Mister Merriman shall be expecting me any minute now. I shall see you all at dinner." And with that, Ben left for the store and Rose came in to clear the breakfast plates.

Mrs. Merriman dabbed her eyes, "Girls, Miss Manderly expects gentlewomen to be timely!" Felicity and Nan rose, kissed their mother on the cheek, and gathered their things for their lessons.


	2. Chapter 2

Felicity had started her lessons with Miss Manderly at age nine, and to her great surprise, enjoyed them immensely. Now her sister was old enough to attend lessons, and where Felicity found her lessons to be enjoyable, Nan found them to be heavenly. Felicity could not believe someone could enjoy embroidery the way Nan did, Felicity barely tolerated it.

"Lissie, you are being awfully quiet this day. 'Tis not like you." Nan interrupted Felicity's thoughts.

"Tis nothing," she replied, "Look! There is Elizabeth!" and she quickened her pace towards her best friend.

Lessons seemed to last forever to Felicity. Miss Manderly had to call Felicity's attention several times and it was all Felicity could to not to race out the door once she was dismissed.

The brisk November air cut straight to the bones, Elizabeth, pulled her blue cloak more tightly and placed a hand on Felicity's shoulder, "Tis alright to be worried. Ben is a most faithful friend; you and him have always been confidants. You have every right to feel sad, he shall be sorely missed." The two girls were in their secret place. The Merrimans' barn, in Penny's stall safe within the sweet smelling hay is where they had shared many years of doll playing and secrets.

"Oh Elizabeth! Ben is my dearest friend—next to you. I don't want him to go to war. He is as dear to me as a brother! Every time Father and Marcus leave for their 'contribution' my heart is sick with grief! And they are away for only weeks at a time—Ben could be away for years!" Felicity cried, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Ever since he ran away two years ago, all he has been talking about is joining with the Patriots!"

_Ben opened his eyes. His face was sweaty and streaked with mud. "I ran away," he said. "You know I want to be a soldier and fight with the Patriots."_

"Father promised him that when Ben reached eighteen he may join with the Patriots, and today he is eighteen! He will surely leave now. 'Tis hard to say good-bye." Felicity hugged Penny's neck as Elizabeth stroked her friend's auburn hair. Even though she believed this war was perfectly the Patriots' fault and if the colonies would simply live under the King's jurisdiction without complaint there would be no war. Then father and all the fathers, brothers, sons, husbands and friends who were fighting could be home with those who loved them, Elizabeth was too good a friend to bring more pain to her friend. She just continued to stroke Felicity's hair, telling her that all will work out in time.


	3. Chapter 3

Mrs. Merriman had planned a special birthday feast in honor or Ben's eighteenth birthday. The family chatted happily, avoiding the subject of current political events, thus providing for a very pleasant evening. It wasn't until after supper when the family was gathered in the parlor that William disrupted the pleasantries.

Felicity and Ben were engaged in a tournament of checkers, an event they liked to participate in weekly, as Mr. Merriman read the paper, Mrs. Merriman and Nan worked on their embroidery and William and Polly played with their toys in front of the fireplace. Looking up from his wooden horse, William asked Ben the question everyone had on their minds, "Ben, do you still want to be a soldier and fight the British?"

"Yes, William, I do. And now that I am eighteen I am able to join and fight for our independence." Turning to Mr. Merriman, "Sir, I ask that you keep your promise to me and release me from my apprenticeship. I will keep my end of the promise and return to you once the war is over." With a hung head, Mr. Merriman replied, "You have shown dedication not only to the cause, but to me as well. The times are changing and history is being written, I cannot deny you to make a change in this world and make you mark in history. You have my blessing." And with that, the two men shook hands, closing the deal.

"When will you leave us?" Nan hiccupped, loosing her composure.

"If is it alright, I plan to leave in a fortnight." Benjamin turned to look Mr. Merriman in the eyes and Mr. Merriman gently nodded his head in agreement.

"We will miss you. You have been part of the family," Nan threw her arms around Ben's neck and kissed his cheek, a kiss that Ben dutifully returned with a peck on the child's forehead. Felicity remained silent the whole time, watching and growing pale. Catching a glance at her eldest, Mrs. Merriman inquired with worry, "Child, thou looks as though you have caught a draft. Are you alright?"

"Yes Mother, I am just tired. I think I shall retire for the night." And with that, Felicity swept out of the room and into the seclusion of her bedchamber. She pulled the curtains closed and laid on the silently crying into the pillow.

The next fourteen days past by in a blur. On the day before he left, Ben surprised Felicity by meeting her at Miss Manderly's.

"I came to escort you home." He explained. They walked down the street without uttering a word, finally Ben broke the silence. "Felicity . . . I don't know what to say. You have been awfully quiet these past few days. You are my closest friend and I shall miss you very much." Reaching into his breast pocket, he pulled out a copy of Thomas Paine's Common Sense, a pamphlet that, since its publication in January of 1776, had become an American best-seller and almost bible to Ben's fervent belief in America's independence.

"Lissie, I want you to have this to remember me by." Felicity took the book gingerly and hugged it against her chest.

"Thank you Ben."

"Also, Lissie," Ben continued, pushing open the Merriman's front gate, "I would like to ask your permission to write you."

"Of course you have it." Felicity answered, slightly confused.

A grin crept across Ben's face and he leaned forward and placed a brief kiss on Felicity's lips, "Thank you Lissie." And he opened the door into the Merrimans' house.

The next morning was a tearful one at the Merriman household. Rose cried as she handed Ben a sack full of food. Marcus shook hands and wished G-d speed. A true mother, Mrs. Merriman made sure all Ben's clothing was properly mended and that he had something to keep him warm. Mr. Merriman slipped Ben a few coins "just in case," and the four Merriman each hugged Ben and sad their tearful good-byes. As Ben released Felicity from his arms he felt her press something into his hand. He quickly stuffed it into his pocket, not wanting anyone to see. Then he said quietly into Felicity's ear "We have it in our power to begin the world anew...American shall make a stand, not for herself alone, but for the world." (Thomas Paine) and with that, he mounted his horse and rode off to war.

The Mrs. Merriman herded her younger children inside leaving Felicity and her father watching Ben's silhouette get smaller and smaller in the distance. Putting his arm around his daughter, "I remember, some time back, a wise young woman telling me that good-bye isn't the end of a friendship. She had said good-bye to one she loved dearly and they came back to her. This same young woman urged me to listen to Ben's plight and allow him to fight for what he, what _we _believe in. Don't you fret my child, Ben will come back to us."

"Oh Father!" Felicity cried, "I am so ashamed! I believe so much in the cause and cheer for the sons and friends of others who go to war without thinking twice, but now that 'tis someone I care about I cannot cheer for my heart is too heavy."

"My Lissie," Father soothed, "This war has hit home for you. Cry thy tears, but also cheer for Ben, for he fighting for what he believes in. He is helping to create a new world."

As Ben rode out of Williamsburg and south to meet the American forces, he could still feel the warmth of Felicity's body next to his. The thought made him smile a bitter-sweet smile. Felicity was daughter of the man he was apprentice to. She kept his secrets and he hers. He found her intriguing; she would joke and discuss politics and had a thirst for knowledge. Where most girls would be found sewing, like her sister Nan, he could find Felicity in the barn reading Benjamin Franklin, or Thomas Paine, and once even Plato! She had often said she wanted to attend college. He had grown fond of her stories and chatter as se helped him in the store when Mr. Merriman was away assisting the troops. She enjoyed adventures and was fiercely loyal; he couldn't have a better friend. Friend. Recently Ben's feeling towards Felicity grew to be more than those of just mere friendship, but Ben didn't know how to react to them for Felicity was barely thirteen to his eighteen years. "I'm about to become a soldier," Ben thought, shaking his confused thoughts about Felicity out of his head. There was just something about her . . . Then he remembered that Felicity had given him something. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small bundle. Holding the reigns in one hand, he managed to unwrap the bundle with the other, revealing a small clay whistle, a checkers piece, the necklace from the ball he had escorted Felicity to years ago, and a Forget-me-not wrapped in Felicity's handkerchief. Ben smiled at the gifts that seemed so small, but held so much meaning to him and Felicity over the past three years. "Every soldier needs a girl to dream about coming home to, there is no harm in dreaming," Ben smiled to himself and he placed the small items safely in his breast pocket, "No, there is no harm in dreaming."


	4. Chapter 4

Elizabeth knew right where to find Felicity. She pushed open the door to Penny's stall and found Felicity curled up in a pile of hay, engrossed in Thomas's Paine's Common Sense. Elizabeth shuddered, the fifty page pamphlet criticized King George III and attacked allegiance to Monarchy in principle while encouraging people to fight for American independence.

"Where did you get that?" Elizabeth asked, sitting down next to Felicity.

"Ben gave it to me before he left."

"A thoughtful gift, no doubt," Elizabeth replied with a slight hint of sarcasm, "How did the good-bye go?"

"Tearful."

"I should expect."

"He asked my permission to write me."

"He _asked permission!_" Elizabeth squeaked, astounded.

"Yes, why?" Felicity asked, puzzled.

"Felicity!" Elizabeth exclaimed, her excitement building, "that means he likes you! Did he say anything else?"

"He did kiss me on the lips, slightly, there was no impropriety in that. He thinks of me as a sister" the color rising to her cheeks.

"Perhaps . . . Oh Lissie! I am so excited for you—could you imagine if he fancies you?"

The girls giggled merrily in excitement over the prospect of a beau, until the realization came back to Felicity, "But Elizabeth, he is away at _war_, he may not come home."

"Oh Felicity, hope that he will, pray that he will, believe that he will, trust that he will, and he will, I know he will."

_Dear Lissie,_

_I hope you do not regret granting me permission to write. The nights seem lonely and the pen and paper have provided companionship, though I wish I could be talking to you in person._

_I made it through my first battle. Wars are a bloody place. We came out victorious! I have joined the Southern Campaign and we are now in Charles Town._

_How is the family? Some nights I long to be in my warm bed instead of lying on the cold ground, or feasting on Rose's delicious apple dumpling in place of this camp gruel. But I know I am making a difference and fighting for what I believe is right. _

_I hope you do not think me too forward, but I miss you. I hope you are fairing well. How are Penny and Patriot? How are lessons? Major is living up to his name, though I can tell he is missing his companions. Please write back._

_Your friend,_

_Benjamin Davidson_

"His writing isn't very proper. I'm surprised, he was so well brought up." Elizabeth teased handing the letter back to Felicity. Felicity's heart jumped for joy when the post rider had delivered Ben's letter. She had re-read so many times that the creases in the paper started to rip. Ben _missed her_. She permitted Elizabeth, who knew more about these things than she, to read the letter and offer her opinion on the matter.

"Elizabeth!" Felicity moaned.

"Tis not terribly romantic, however, for Ben who is frugal with his words—and being forward! I believe this letter shows great promise!" giving Felicity's hand a squeeze, "Oh Lissie." Elizabeth swooned and Felicity fell into a fit of giggles.


	5. Chapter 5

Without Ben, Felicity's life proceeded almost uninterrupted; she saw Elizabeth and played with her brother and sisters. She went to lessons, helped her father at the store and her mother and Rose around the house. With Ben gone, Mr. Merriman did not travel as much and when his wife could spar her, she sent Felicity to help her father at the store. She knew that Felicity loved working there and Mr. Merriman enjoyed her company. Felicity liked working with father at the store, but part of her liked working with Ben better. She missed the teasing, the conversations and the checkers with Ben.

The Merriman's store was a center of information. Customers and traders came in with news about the war and the colonies and the soldiers. Felicity's ears always perked up when a regiment was mentioned. She strained to hear any bit of news possible about Ben. She treasured the letters she received from him and longed to see him again. The letters that had come frequently at first, had slowed and Felicity and her family worried about Ben's safety. Elizabeth tried to assure her friend, but really all she could do was be there for her.

Marcus just finished unloading the crates off the wagon and brought them into the storage room. There Mr. Merriman unloaded the supplies while Felicity stayed in front, helping the customers. Stacking the shelves, Mr. Merriman sighed to himself over the minimal supplies he now stocked and the few customers he received. The war had been hard on commerce. Supplies were difficult to get because of the war. He had stopped selling items such as tea and loyalist customers stopped buying from him.

The jingle of the bell above the door interrupted Felicity's thoughts. It had been a slow day and she was lost in daydreams about her horse and Ben. Every time she thought about his soft kiss her cheeks became hot and her heart skipped a beat. She still couldn't believe that he fancied her. Elizabeth had confessed that since the Governor's Ball that Ben had escorted Felicity to, three years ago, she had always secretly thought that Ben fancied Felicity and Felicity him. Elizabeth just quietly waited for her suspicions to play out.

"Good day Miss Merriman," Elizabeth greeted cheerfully, shaking the rain off her cloak.

"Good day Miss Cole. Does your mother know you have come out in this rain?" Felicity questioned, assuming a more proper position at the counter. When Felicity was younger, anytime she would come into the shop her father would pretend she was a grand lady, a tradition she and Elizabeth loved to play at.

"I had the coachman deliver me straight to the door, I would have had one of the servants come but I needed a new feather for my hat and I wanted to make sure one was picked out properly." Elizabeth claimed, assuming a haughty tone.

"Ahhh yes, you have come to the right place. We have just received some fine feathers from the Indies and Persia. And this one," Felicity pretended to present a large feather, "is from a peacock in Caribbean. I do believe it should meet your fancy."

Giggling, Elizabeth lost her composure for the game, "Oh Lissie, the Caribbean? Persia? The Indies? Can you imagine how wonderful life must be in such exotic places?"

"I've heard a little from the ships that do trade with Father. They are much different from here. They are hot like summer all the time with water so blue and sand white as snow. They have beautiful flowers and animals like nothing we have seen in Virginia!" Felicity said wistfully.

"Mother said that many Loyalists have settled in the Caribbean. And Canada too. Canada is like the colonies they say, but the Caribbean is paradise."

"Has your Mother been talking about leaving Virginia again?" Felicity asked in a worried tone.

"A little, especially since Master Cooke was tarred and feathered and his house burned to the ground. She is worried. Father left us here because he believed we would be safe, but now she is not so sure. Lissie, do you know what happens to a person when they are tarred and feathered?"

"Oh Elizabeth, you need not fear, the Patriots would never do that to women and children!"

"Lissie! They shouldn't be doing it at all!"

"Elizabeth, what a lovely surprise! To what do we owe this pleasure too?" Mr. Merriman interrupted, emerging from the back room.

"Father, Mrs. Cole is frightful after the tarring of Mister Cooke—she is thinking of leaving Williamsburg!" Felicity and Elizabeth looked at Mr. Merriman with sad eyes.

"Both sides of this conflict inflict pain on others to scare them into submission. Both Loyalists and Patriots alike will burn each other's property, hang their enemies, and tar and feather the traitors. War is not glorious. In these times many a hero will emerge, but also many a villain. Wars are meant to be fought by rules, but, in reality, the rules of war are silent." Mr. Merriman replied sadly. Elizabeth and Felicity looked at each other in silence, each praying that the war would soon be over.


	6. Chapter 6

1780 arrived quietly. There were little festivities in Williamsburg that year. The start of the New Year also brought a long awaited letter from Ben.

_My dear Lissie, _

_I am sorry I haven't written in months and I hope this letter finds thee and thy family well. Maj. Gen Lincoln has proven to be a strong leader. In May our forces broke Maj. Gen. A. Prevost's siege of Charles Town._ _However, we failed to break the British forces in Sept. from Savannah. _

Felicity felt a surge of excitement grow in her throat as she read the first line over and over, "My dear Lissie." Antsy with excitement to share her news with Elizabeth, Felicity couldn't wait for lessons so as to tell Elizabeth. Finally it was time to leave. Felicity had no patience for Nan's slow walk today and she briskly made her way through the snow towards Miss Manderly's.

"Lissie! Wait up!" Nan called to her sister as she hastened her pace. "Lissie, I do not understand you," shaking her head, "At times you are a most proper gentlewoman and seem very grown up, and others you act like . . . like . . . like a wild horse!" Nan finished with frustration. She had always been a sensible child and shook her head at her older sister's spirited nature.

"I am just very anxious to get to lessons today. 'Sides, 'tis cold and the sooner we get there, the sooner we shall get warm." This logic Nan could not disagree with and she quickly made her way to Miss Manderly's. Once inside, the two girls shook the snow off their cloaks and left their patterns to dry by the hearth in the kitchen. Slipping delicately in her chair next to Elizabeth, Felicity whispered happily into her friend's ear. "He wrote! He wrote 'My dear Lissie!'" Elizabeth let out a squeak of delight, causing Nan and the other two girls who they took lessons with, Abigail and Hannah to turn in shock.

"I nicked myself with the needle," Elizabeth apologized sheepishly. "Oh Lissie, I am so happy for you! And I have new of my own to tell you—James Prescott came over for tea the other day with his mother. We had such a pleasant time together! And he asked if he may call on me!" Elizabeth whispered back, this time causing Felicity to squeak with delight, again causing the younger girls to turn their heads in disbelief. Miss Manderly walked over to her two eldest pupils, about to reprimand them for their behavior, but something caught the better of her, "Ladies, would you mind staying after today? I think it is time to challenge you to a more, say, adult lesson?" Nan raised an eyebrow at her sister and then turned back to her stitching.

When lessons ended Elizabeth and Felicity lingered behind after the other girls had left. Bowing their heads, the gracefully apologized for their rude disruption. Miss Manderly, accepted, commenting on how graceful they had apologized, and then, inviting them to the tea table she told them her reason for keeping them.

"I realized today that you girls have been with me for almost six years now. In that time I have watched you evolve into beautiful, gracious young ladies. However, today's outbursts made me realize that maybe it is time to—"

"Oh Miss Manderly! We will do better!" the girls interrupted.

"Hush," Miss Manderly silenced them with her hand, "I realized that the time has come when you will be approached by young gentlemen seeking to court you. And while we have covered areas of being a proper hostess and gentlewoman, we have never discussed the proper etiquette of courting. There are rules that must be learned, as well as shall we say tricks of the trade?" Miss Manderly said with a twinkle in her eye, "If you come to me for an extra hour every Wednesday we shall go over these lessons. Does that meet your approval?"

"Yes Miss Manderly, thank you," both Felicity and Elizabeth thanked their teacher and were dismissed.

"And, I hope that I will hear no more squeaking over prospects!" Miss Manderly called after them.

"Oh Lissie, how did she know!" Elizabeth said as they turned down the cobblestone street.

"She just knows I guess," Felicity twirled and stuck out her tongue to catch a snowflake, "Elizabeth, isn't snow simply divine?"

"Lissie," Elizabeth giggled as her friend floated happily down the street, "You are in love."

"Love?!" the word shocked her, abruptly turning the conversation to Elizabeth, Felicity began to question her about James.

"He comes from a well to do Loyalist family from the next town over. Mother and his are friends from England. Then moved here recently from Charles Town. He holds good conversation and is very polite. And he likes dancing and horses—you would like him." And as a mischievous smile crept across her face, Elizabeth added, "And he is very handsome—he kissed me, on the mouth! It was rather scandalous, but I liked it. I do enjoy growing up Felicity, I feel like our lives have become ever so much more exciting." Turning up her walkway, Elizabeth glanced over her shoulder and happily wave good-bye as she kissed the air. Continuing her way home, Felicity mused to herself, "Elizabeth used to be so quiet and timid, now she is almost bold!" Felicity giggled and went up to her room where she found Nan waiting for her.

"Lissie, did thee get in trouble? 'Tis most improper to squeak!"

Sitting down in front of her dressing table and looking in the mirror, Felicity turned to her sister, "Do you think I have changed?"

"Whatever do you mean? Since when?" Nan puzzled at the turn in conversation.

"Say, since I started lessons."

Getting up and placing her head on her sister's shoulder, Nan looked in the mirror, "most of your freckles have faded, though some still remain across your nose—if you would just remember your hat!!!. Your hair is the loveliest in all of Virginia! It's a lovely shade of auburn and it has a curl. You are taller and look like a grown woman. Your stitching and handwriting are very beautiful. Your manner has become much more gracious and when you are not galloping like a horse, you are as graceful as a swan." Nan concluded. Felicity turned toward her sister and hugged her, "Thank you."

"Lissie, what did cause you to squeal?" and with that Felicity swatted Nan over the head playfully with a cushion.


	7. Chapter 7

Huddled in his tent, Ben watched the falling snow against the dark sky. Glancing around he saw men huddled together around campfires for warmth.

"Oh, to be warm again!" Ben thought, "Virginia springs with the flowers bursting into life, summers with their stifling heat." The agonizing scream of a man broke Ben's thoughts. Weeks ago he would have been filled with anxious curiosity over the terrifying sound, now he grew accustomed to it. It was the surgeon at work. Ben shivered and pulled the horse blanket around him tighter.

"Think of warm apple butter, of fresh blueberries," he continued to press his mind farther from the reality of the winter encampment. He squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to focus all his energy on being warm.

"Whad'ya doin?" Ben opened one eye in recognition of the voice. His friend Jeb sat down beside Ben and begun to unwind the tattered bandages from his feet. As Jeb rubbed warmth back into his feet, Ben asked, "When do you think you'll get new shoes?"

"When this army finally starts payin' us the wages its promised or me mother sends a pair. Either way, I don't be seein' them comin' soon." Jeb vigorously tried to rub some color back into his ashen feet. "At least they not be turnin' black yet, or worse green. They're just a tad cold, that all," he finished. Lying down, Jeb pulled his blanket close for warmth. Ben looked at the bloody tracks leading up to his tent, as they did to so many other tents and thanked G-d he still had sturdy shoes. Ben glanced back at his sleeping tent mate and then returned to gazing out at the snow. "What is the price of liberty?" he wondered.


	8. Chapter 8

**May 1780**"We will go over the minuet again." Miss Manderly instructed at Felicity and Elizabeth's courtship lesson. They had gone over the basics of their earlier years of lessons: tea or coffee time and dancing, as well as the art of turning down a suitor, a practice Felicity found rather humorous to Elizabeth chagrin.

"Oh, my dear Humphrey! I am sorry, but I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request." Felicity playfully pretended to turn down a suitor as she and Elizabeth walked home from lessons. "Your feet are much too large and tend to tread on mine during dancing."

"Oh Felicity, you are wicked," Elizabeth said with a twinkle in her eye, feigning shock, "I must get home to Mother, say 'hullo' to your family for me!" waving, Elizabeth turned to head home.

Felicity continued to walk over to the store where she was surprised to find her little sister Polly sitting atop a barrel eating a piece of rock candy.

"Lissie! Play!"

"Love, what are you doing?" Felicity asked, lifting the sticky child down, she placed Polly on the floor and pulled a handkerchief out of her pocketbook to wipe Polly's mouth.

"Mother went calling," Polly explained, happily licking away.

"Really?" bending down to be at eye-level, "and why did she not take you?"

"William was bad at school," was the nonchalant response, Can I have another sweet?" Straightening up Felicity turned toward the back room and called for her father, "What happened with William?" she questioned as she absently handed another sweet to her sister.

"Maj. Gen. Lincoln surrendered the town and his entire army at Charles Town. A boy in William's class relished this victory too much for William's liking and he decided to even the score." Father explained, "I understand he gave his schoolmate quite the trashing. Your mother has taken William to the schoolmaster and the boy's house to apologize."

Felicity turned white with horror and her hands flew to her mouth. If ever a time to faint, this would be the moment, "Father, Ben was under Maj. Gen. Lincoln. He was at Charles Town!" Lissie cried.

"My dear child," Father embraced his daughter and Polly hugged her sister's legs.


	9. Chapter 9

Felicity felt as in a trance, her mind swarmed with fears about Ben's safety. She had heard tales from the men in her father's store of how prisoners were treated. One man, Ketchum perhaps, had told her father that close to 3000 men surrendered at Fort Washington, but only 800 were still alive. She had heard that the captured were often stripped of their clothing and given rags to wear as they were marched through the streets of the captured town.

Felicity did everything in her power to find out about Ben. She prayed for his safe return in church, she went to the tavern to hear if travelers brought news about Ben's regiment, she checked the newspaper for deceased. At times Felicity felt as though there was nothing she could do to save her friend. It was times like these when she would escape to Ben's room in the barn and lie down on his bed and cry, "He can't be dead, he's alive" she told herself over and over again.

Weeks turned into months and the Merrimans had not heard a word of Ben's whereabouts. Felicity refused to give up hope. Back when she was nine she believed that her horse Penny would come back to her, and Penny did. That nine-year old never gave up believing and the fifteen-year-old Felicity was no different. The air turned crisp and the leaves began to fall. September's news was inundated with updates on campaign in North Carolina with Lt. Col. Davie and the English's Banastre Tarleton. The major news that was on everyone's lips during the months of October and November was the campaign in South Carolina, but this news was of disinterest to Felicity, all she cared about was Ben.

"Lissie, you have cried your tears. Ben would not have wanted you to live a mournful life." Elizabeth consoled.

"It's just so hard!" Felicity cried, resting her head in Elizabeth's lap while Elizabeth stroked her hair.

"Lissie, James' family is hosting a small dance in a few weeks, do attend, please. Do try. You need some cheer, it will do you good."

"I can't."

Lifting Felicity's chin and looking straight into her eyes, Elizabeth said with conviction, "Lissie, it would not be disloyal to Ben."

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In attempts to get some real solid history in here, the facts in the first par. are actual accounts documented by Ketchum about the treatment of American prisoners of war at fort washington


	10. Chapter 10

Meanwhile . . .

The cell was dark and damp. The wet cold caused many around him to contract chest colds. The deep mucous coughs of others became a lullaby that lured Ben to sleep every night. Ben had counted every rock in the wall and etched words of encouragement in the dirt floor with a small twig. Great quotes from great men he admired:

"We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately."

Benjamin Franklin.

I Am Not A Virginian, But An American!" Patrick Henry

"I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country." Nathan Hale

The men in his regiment used to tease him when he would cut out quotes from newspapers and pamphlets but they showed the wisdom of men willing to risk everything for their dreams. Ben admired them for their courage, their passion and their loyalty to The Cause. Now they served not only as a moral booster to himself but also to the others in his cell.

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"Weekly rations!" The plump soldier called as he tapping on the cell bars as he passed. Ben watched as his rations were pushed into the cell: one-half pound of biscuit, one half pound of pork, one-half pint of peas, one-half gill of rice, and a half ounce of butter 1.

"Good, I'm starving," Nathaniel joked as he grabbed his share.

"At least they treat us better than the prison my brother Samuel was in up north," John Young said. "He wrote me that he was confined in a stable with about 500 other men. Their guards threw the food at them as if they were no better than pigs and the rations that they received at times were molded and some of it crawling with maggots... 2"

"Let's talk of something brighter," Nathaniel suggested, "You are ruining my appetite."

"No one could ruin your appetite," Ben joked in a sad tone as he examined the biscuit for mold and bugs. Deeming it was satisfactory, he took a bite out of the biscuit. Massaging his jaw, Ben thought to himself _I wonder if these biscuits were left over from the French and Indian War._

Rubbing a torn piece of blue coat in between his fingers, Stephen's eyes glazed over as if watching a memory in the fabric. "Today is my daughter's fifth birthday," Stephen murmured softly, "She has the bluest eyes, as blue as the sky and curly light brown. Oh, and when she smiles!" Stephen smiled in remembrance, " . . . her smile, even thinking about it warms my heart."

Also remembering a past life another cellmate began to softly speak as if he too was caught in a dream. "My wife has a beautiful smile and a great laugh. She was wearing the most beautiful blue dress when I left, she laughed and said she would never wear red again—only Continental Blue for her. Her whole body laughs when she is happy. You know, when we were first married, Sarah was making dinner, I don't even remember what it was . . . but she left it in the pot and . . . well got distracted," Zachary smiled, "whatever she was cooking exploded all over the room! Hahaha it was everywhere! Oh, how we laughed! . . . I miss her, we'll been married for two years this June. I fell in love the first time I saw her—which was in dame school! She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my six years of life and now, sixteen years later I still haven't met another quite as wonderful as she." Tears welled in the corners of his eyes as Zachary thought of his young wife.

"I met my wife while traveling in Boston. I had business there that I had come up for from Hartford. I met her father in a tavern and we started talking about and he invited me over for dinner. I came for dinner and there she was smiling at me from across the table." John remembered fondly. "I would travel to Boston every month to see her and we married soon after . . . that was all of twenty years ago, funny how certain memories last."

Stephen laughed, "You know how I met my lass? She beat me in a footrace!" The men erupted in laughter.

"To think, Stephen was beat by a girl!" John roared slapping his knee.

"I stared at her catching her breath, her face as red as an apple and her eyes glowing and I knew she was the one for me. For anyone who could beat me in a race was a formidable companion—could you see me with a meek, proper lass?" Stephen snorted.

"No, I do not think one would put up with you," Zachary replied.

"How about these young ones? They must have a lass or two waiting for them back home." Stephen inquired.

Stretching out and folding his arms behind his head, "I think Abby won me over with her apple dumplings . . . or maybe it was her blueberry pie . . ." he said as he munched on a piece of straw.

"How like Nathaniel to have his stomach do the fallin' in love!" Stephen's laughter was joined by the others in the cell. They all knew how Nathaniel's mouth watered.

"She has big brown eyes and wavy brown hair. She is wonderful. You know, when she writes me she include recipes and describes a dish she has made so wonderfully that I can almost taste it . . . a pinch of cinnamon a pound of sugar. She is so sweet . . . as soon as I can get back to her we'll be married. I cannot wait to have her; to come home every evening to her waiting arms and her cooking on the table." The men all smiled. Sitting up he took the piece of straw and started twisting it in his hand, Nathanial continued, in a more somber voice, "It is funny. You can be as tough as a bear but when you find her she just melts your heart. Sometimes in our letters we picture our future together in a free country. We want six children, four boys and two girls, and two dogs. We agreed on naming our first daughter Liberty."

"She sounds like just the girl for you," John said approvingly, "What about you Ben? Do you have a girl waiting for you?"

Looking up, Ben's ears turned red. "Ummm . . . errrr . . . I don't know" he replied honestly.

"You do not know?" Stephen roared in amusement.

"He is still young, maybe no one has caught his fancy yet," John hushed.

"What about that Felicity that you sometimes write too?" Nathaniel implored, "She must be someone special for I know she is not a sister."

Felicity, how did he explain Felicity when he himself did not know. "The last time I saw her she was barely thirteen . . . she is my friend and my master's daughter. I always thought of her as my sister but I don't know . . . right before I left . . . maybe . . . I asked her permission to write her, but I do not know if I did it . . ."

"You sound like my oldest son. The neighbor's girl, Elizabeth, is three years his junior. He is great friends with the older brother. They grew up together and Elizabeth was like a sister to him, sometimes even a pest. Then all of a sudden he started acting like the cat has got his tongue around her and stumbling over words whenever someone mentioned her name. Over night she transformed from a little girl to a lovely young lady and oh how Elizabeth's brother teased my Johnny! Ahh, but when she turned sixteen, right before he left to join the Continentals he asked for her hand. I have thirteen children—one for each of these great colonies and there is nothing more confusing than watching them stumble over the debate: do I like this person or not."

"Felicity will be fifteen now," Ben continued almost to himself, "She has green eyes and auburn hair. We play checkers every night, we would work in her father's store together sometimes. She loves horses and dancing . . ." Ben trailed off.

John nudged Stephen and murmured softly. "I think he's in love."

1 & 2 are both from Lindsey's _Treatment of American Prisoners of War During the Revolution_


	11. Chapter 11

Up in Felicity's bed chamber her mother and sisters were all gather around her while she sat at the cherry wood dressing table.

"Oh, Lissie! You look lovely! You really do." Nan exclaimed as Mrs. Merriman placed a pearl comb in Felicity's hair, "I wish I could go as well."

"Yes dear, you do look lovely." Mrs. Merriman agreed and kissed the top of Felicity's head.

"Why can't I go?" Polly demanded.

"Because, love, who would watch over William and make sure he doesn't eat all the cookies we baked the other day." Felicity turned to smile at her youngest sister and Polly was satisfied with the answer.

"Felicity!" Father called up the stairs, "Elizabeth is here." Grabbing Felicity's cloak, Polly kissed her sister good-bye.

Felicity slowly walked down the stairs wondering if it was right to be looking forward to a night of frivolity when so many others were lying in fields, cold and frightened.

"Oh my pretty Lissie, you look lovely." Father said proudly as her gave his daughter his elbow and escorted Felicity to the carriage. Once inside Mister Merriman slapped the side of the carriage and Felicity and Elizabeth were off to the Prescotts'. Felicity turned to look out the window and wave at her family standing in the doorway. Taking a deep breath she turned towards Elizabeth and a sudden wave of loneliness washed over Felicity: Ben had escorted her to the Governor's ball years ago, even though he did not agree with the Governor's politics. He did that to make her happy that night. As if reading her thoughts, Elizabeth reached for Felicity's hand, "Tonight we will forget the pain of the past year and focus on the joy of the future."

The ball was lovely. The grandest event Felicity had been to since the war started. Felicity danced with several young gentlemen, however, when one partner began to talk about how he was taken prisoner at the Battle of Camden then released months later, Felicity suddenly had to excuse herself. Felicity left the room and choked back a sob as she pressed herself against the wall. Glancing at the doorway back into the ballroom, she watched Elizabeth in her beautiful burgundy dress dance gracefully, lead by James' sure step. Elizabeth's wavy brown hair1 glowed in the candle light and Felicity was mesmerized by how happy her friend looked. There was something in her face that made Felicity believe it was the happiest she ever seen her friend.

"You know, 'tis much more fun to dance than watch," a voice interrupted her from behind. Startled, Felicity spun around and knocked into the young gentleman who had crept up behind her. "Are you watching a secret love or do you just enjoy spying on people?" he questioned, looking over her shoulder and into the room.

"Tis most improper to sneak up on a lady," Felicity scolded.

"Tis most improper to spy, I believe the punishment is hanging."

Felicity scowled at the beastly gentlemen. "I beg your pardon, miss." He apologized, sweeping into a grand bow. While doing so, he raised his eyebrows hinting for a name to be supplied.

"Merriman, Felicity Merriman."

"Miss Felicity Merriman, please accept my deepest apologizes."

"I may consider accepting your apology." Felicity carefully responded.

"Well I hope I deserve that honor. So which is it?—spying or secret love?"

"Neither, I grew tired of dancing. But did not want to miss anything. I beg your pardon; I do not know your name, sir."

Sweeping into yet another grand bow, "Henry Nathaniel Carter at your service Miss Merriman."

Felicity didn't know if Henry was being cocky or if was teasing her, either way she was not pleased and she waved him off, "It was a pleasure meeting you Henry, but I must be going." And she started to walk back into the room. "Wait Felicity," Henry said, his tone suddenly different. He grabbed her arm to stop her, "I'm sorry," looking down at his hold on her delicate wrist and quickly released her hand, "Would, would you grant me the honor of a dance?"

"I am disinclined to acqui—" Felicity started but there was something so earnest about his smile and his voice most pleading that Felicity could not refuse and she allowed Henry to lead her to the dance floor.

"What do you do, Mister Carter?" she asked, taking her partner's hand.

"My family owns a plantation, but my main interest is horses. I breed them and train them." This caught Felicity's interest, for there wasn't a girl in all the thirteen colonies that loved horses more than Felicity did and for the rest of the evening Felicity and Henry talked about horses. Finally it was time to leave. The whole carriage ride home Elizabeth was glowing with excitement and was chattier than Felicity had ever heard. Finally, Elizabeth asked Felicity what she did all night, but for some reason Felicity did not tell her about Henry Nathaniel Carter, but just smiled to herself and said, "I had a nice time dancing, thank you for inviting me."

1 So the original books picture Elizabeth as having brown eyes and brown hair and that is how I've always pictured her so for those of you who know her as a blond I'm sorry I just couldn't


	12. Chapter 12

"My father and I raise many different types of horses. We have light horses-Morgans, Quarters, Paints, and Thoroughbreds." Henry's brown eyes were shining and his voice silky smooth. Leaning further over the front counter that separated him and Felicity at the Merriman's store he lowered his tone and Felicity leaned closer to hear. "But if you are into the allure of the more romantic. My father acquired an Arabian a few years back who is white as snow and a mane that glistens in the moonlight."

"How perfectly lovely!" Felicity sighed and she turned back to her work imagining such a beautiful horse. Behind Felicity's back Henry pounded his fist in mid-air: Why couldn't Felicity see that he liked her?

Ever since the ball Henry would occasionally make the journey to Williamsburg to stop by the Merriman's store and talk to Felicity. Everyone knew that he came all that way to see Felicity, all save Felicity. Henry would tell her how the horses on his family's plantation faired and who came to look at them in hopes of purchasing one.

"Felicity," Henry said with concern, "the sun is getting low and your father seems to be working late, shall I escort you home?"

With the end of each visit to the store Henry asked to escort Felicity home, an offer she declined with every visit.

"Henry, you know William stops by at this hour every day to walk home with me."

"Oh, yes, well better luck next time. A pleasure as always," Henry swept into a grand bow and graciously left the store. _Patience is a virtue, the best things in life are worth fighting for and Felicity is worth it _he thought as he made his way back home.

"Was that pompous horse-trainer here again?" William asked as he entered the store.

"William, don't be rude," Mr. Merriman emerged from the back of the store, wiping his hands, "Mister Carter is a fine young gentleman and is very kind to your sister." Felicity slouched in the corner, she hated when her family discussed prospects in front of her like she wasn't there. Thankfully, eight-year old William was more critical of the young lads in Williamsburg than Felicity was and would happily deter any from coming near.

Glancing over at his older sister pretending to dust in the corner, William called out to her, "Liss, ready to go?" Grateful to finally leave Felicity kissed her father on the cheek and head off with her brother.

"Tell your mother I'll be but another hour!" Mister Merriman called after them and returned back to work.

"He's been coming an awful lot to the store," William said as he picked up a stray stick and started dragging it along the fences of the houses they past.

"He comes to tell me about the horses," Felicity said nonchalantly.

"Oh Lissie, don't be daft! No one rides ten miles into town just to talk about horses!---I don't like the way he looks at you, it reminds me of the way I look at a chocolate cake!"

"William!" Felicity said with a laugh, "Don't be foolish and you need not worry your head about me, I'm not ready to set my cap for anyone yet. You are stuck with me for at least another two years or so!" and with that Felicity wrapped her arms around her protective brother and gave him a hug.

"Lissie off!" William said with disgust.


	13. Chapter 13

In April, James asked for Elizabeth's hand.

"Oh Elizabeth! I'm so happy for you!" Felicity exclaimed swinging in a circle with Elizabeth in the middle of the Merriman's store.

"Congratulations child," Mister Merriman beamed from behind the counter.

"Sixteen and engaged!" Felicity continued, "Why Annabelle is not even engaged!—Elizabeth you are very much the catch! This calls for a sweet!" After much celebration and feasting on the sweets, Elizabeth left to go back home. Stepping outside after her friend, Felicity watched Elizabeth's yellow dress skip merrily up the street. Suddenly, Felicity felt very alone. Her closest friend was getting married and about to start a whole new life. The thought sent a shiver down her spine. Felicity walked home to her garden to collect her thoughts. She sat in the dirt picking at a stubborn weed when her mother came out. "Your father tells me Elizabeth is to be married."

"Yes, in early October of next year." Felicity responded, looking up at her mother with sad eyes.

"What is it child?"

Felicity confessed to Mother her concerns about Elizabeth marrying and starting a new life, "Felicity, Elizabeth you best friend. There are things that women cannot tell even their husbands, she will always be your friend. But also, you have been carrying the sadness of Ben's disappearance for quite a while. We all loved him, but it would not dishonor his memory if you stopped mourning him and began living again. Right in front of you is an honest man, one who's kind and gentle and right before your eyes. Let him into your life and become a friend, dear one." Mrs. Merriman kissed the top of Felicity's head and went back into the house. Felicity sighed, maybe Mother is right.

The next day when Henry stopped by the store, Felicity took her mother's words to heart and for the first time accepted Henry's offer to escort her home. She felt a twinge of guilt in accepting the offer, especially because Henry was so shocked that he grinned the entire way home, did his look did have the appearance of self-satisfaction?

_Felicity was warming up to him! _Henry's happy heart sang. When they finally reached the Merriman's house, Henry lightly kissed Felicity's hand and then, as if an afterthought, quickly kissed her cheek. "Thank you Felicity for allowing me to walk you home." Henry said with a bow. Felicity let herself into the house and shut the door quickly. Leaning against it, she tenderly touched her cheek were the kiss lingered. It wasn't as horrid as she thought it would be _What are you doing! _Felicity conscious yelled.

After that Henry began to frequent the store more often in hopes of accompanying Felicity home. Felicity was slow to warm up to the idea of maybe something more than a mere friendship with Henry, she had to first put away an old dream. She had fallen in love with a dream of her and Ben happily sharing a life together, and she did not want to let that dream go –it was silly, he was all but six years older than she and could have met several more suitable girls than she . . . or worse, he could be dead. Maybe it was time to fall in love with a new dream, a dream that was more likely to become a reality than the former. Both Felicity's parents found Henry to be to their liking, as did her sisters, and Elizabeth and Henry got along well. Felicity could find no faults, though William could find plenty, with him save for the fact that he was not Ben. She knew she could not fault him for that. Maybe she could learn to love him.


	14. Chapter 14

Felicity and Henry had been invited over for sweet tea and lemonade with Elizabeth and James. It was a lovely July afternoon and the couples basked in the warmth of the summer sun. Sipping her lemonade, Felicity observed James and Elizabeth's interaction. There was something so pure and wonderful about them. Felicity sighed; you could just feel that they were in love from being near them. _You could be like that too if you would just let yourself_ Felicity told herself. As he took her hand in his own, Felicity smiled at Henry.

"I heard that the Americans have ordered de Gasse and the French fleet to be off the coast by the end of this month." James said as he sipped his tea. Henry choked on his on his lemonade. As Felicity patted him on his back, Elizabeth placed her hand on James' arm, "Maybe we should avoid the topic of politics for a time being James," she reprimanded softly.

"No, no, it is quite alright. I was just a little shocked at the news, are you sure you heard correctly?" Henry said mopping the spilled lemonade off his waistcoat.

"I do not care to listen to such dreadful events on such a fine afternoon. If you gentlemen insist on discussing politics, Lissie and I will leave you be and discuss more friendlier subjects in the garden."

"Go walk and discuss whatever you womenfolk talk about, I can see that Felicity is getting antsy from all this sitting down. Henry and I will bore ourselves here and meet up with you later." James told Elizabeth.

"Will you be alright?" Felicity asked Henry with concern.

"Quite so, go, go have fun with your Elizabeth. I promise you that this Englishmen will not bore me to death." Henry joked and kissed Felicity on the cheek.

Elizabeth grabbed Felicity's hand and the two of them walked towards the Coles' garden. Once out of earshot, Elizabeth asked, "Was that reluctance I saw in leaving Henry?"

"I was concerned for the fact he had just choked on his drink, that is all." Felicity responded.

"Oh, Lissie, I am your dear friend. Please tell me what games you are playing at."

"There are no games . . . I just do not know how I feel. I like him, but I do not know if he is for me."

"He adores you and is a good man. Any girl would be happy with those prospects."

"But" Felicity let out a small whine.

"But he is not Ben," Elizabeth finished with a sad smile. "Felicity you were not even thirteen when he left. You don't even know what his true feelings were. We were silly girls, we mayhap misread Ben entirely."

"Oh Elizabeth! That is a terrible thing to say for then I have made a fool of myself and my heart!"

"I'm not saying we were wrong. I am just saying look at Henry as Henry, not as Ben or anyone else. What does your heart say about Henry?"

"I . . . I don't know . . ." Felicity reflected on Elizabeth's words as they walked back to the boys. Felicity leaned over Henry's shoulder and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. Henry smiled as he tenderly touched the place where Felicity's lips had just been.

"Welcome love." He said.


	15. Chapter 15

Mrs. Fitchette, the town gossip, was quick to spread the news that Henry Carter was courting the Merriman girl. It was quite the match; the Merriman girl had caught the eye and heart of the son of a wealthy plantation owner who shared her love of horses.

Every Sunday Henry would accompany Felicity to church and stay for Sunday dinner. They had afternoon tea and lemonade in the Coles' garden and the two of them took long rides outside Williamsburg.

Worn after a long ride with Henry, still in her riding habit Felicity laid down on her bed, _Blast these wretched stays! _She thought as she wiggled uncomfortably and reached her hand behind her to itch her back. _Tis improper to say 'blast' and 'wretch'_ Felicity envisioned her sister reprimanding her—_wait! What is –? _Felicity's hand felt a folded piece of paper underneath her. She pulled it out the worn paper. It was wrinkled and splattered with mud and, could that be?, blood.

_Miss F. Merriman_

_c/o E. Merriman_

_Williamsburg, Virginia_

She carefully unfolded the worn letter and started to read:

_Felicity, dear Felicity_

Her heart skipped a beat. Sitting up abruptly she continued to read:

_I apologize for not writing, I promised I would write often but have not held true to my word. I know you and your family must be sick with worry or perchance you have accepted a fate that I am grateful to say I've narrowly missed. The Battle of Charles Town, oh Lissie it was horrible! My friend Jeb fell right before my eyes. We fought hard but finally Maj. Gen. Lincoln surrendered the town and his entire army. I am now, with other members of my regiment, in a jail under Loyalist control just outside of Charles Town. I will not trouble you by describing the conditions, but tis not for the faint of heart. Tis a lonely fate . . . it is silly, I know, but I often dream of you and your stories, they bring a smile to my face. Have heart Lissie, I will be well. I miss you. I think of you often. _

_Your faithful friend,_

_Benjamin Davidson_

_Post Script. Please give your father the enclosed letter._

Felicity picked up the paper that had fallen with her right hand as the other still held Ben's letter, trembling. _Ben is alive! Ben is alive! –He misses me! _Her heart missed a beat, the room became fuzzy and for the first time in her life, Felicity Merriman fainted.


	16. Chapter 16

"Lissie! Wake up! Wake up!" Felicity felt small hands shaking her. Her eyes fluttered open and focused on a concerned little Polly shaking her. "Lissie, you ill? Should I fetch Mother?" Polly asked full of concern.

Sitting up slowly, Felicity managed a weak smile for her sister. "No love, I shall be fine." Searching for an excuse Felicity quickly said, "Nan tied my stays today a bit too tightly and with the excitement of riding I guess I got a bit light-headed when I finally sat down." Polly wrinkled her nose, she was none too impressed with the excuse, but took it anyway—she was four what did she know of stays? It was at that moment Mother walked in.

"Heavens child! You look as though you've seen a ghost!"

Felicity spent the rest of the evening in bed reading and re-reading the letter. The color drained from her face. It was a miracle. All that wishing and hoping and praying had become a reality, just as she was giving up, fate had renewed itself.

Oh, how her family cried when Father read his letter to the family. Tears of joy that Ben was alive, tears of sorrow for his capture.

"Edward, we must do something for the lad," Mrs. Merriman said with concern, taking the letter from her husband and reading it over for herself.

"There is little we can do, dear; he is a prisoner of war which is different than a common thief." Mister Merriman explained. "A prisoner exchange can be done for his release, but that is based on the negotiations."

"Can we go see him?" William asked.

"Yes. Bring him food and medicine and something warm?" Nan followed up.

"I'm not sure children, it depends on the guard. I will see what I can find out about his situation." Mister Merriman assured his children.

_Ben was alive._ It was like a dream. Felicity kept pinching herself to make sure it was real. _Ben is alive. Ben is alive. –Ben needs me! _The thought came to her near dawn. She leapt out of bed with a start.


	17. Chapter 17

Felicity sat in bed until the sun rose red in the sky, thinking over her plan. It was a bold idea, and Felicity hardly knew if she could carry it off. But, she resolved, she must try.

Throughout the day Felicity gathered supplies. She took care not to be noticed as she tiptoed about the house. She took medicines from the cabinet, some bread, cheese, and fruit from the cellar, and an extra blanket from the clothespress. Piece by piece Felicity brought the items to the barn and hid them in Ben's old room.

_I think I have everything I need _Felicity said to herself as she surveyed her spoils _everything, except . . . _Felicity spun slowly around trying to figure out what, if anything she had forgotten. Suddenly, a bit of dark fabric caught her eye. Felicity bent down to retrieve an old pair of Ben's breeches that were hidden under his bed. _Perfect! _She held the dark woolen breeches up for inspection. They were old pair of Ben's, probably from the time he was fifteen or sixteen, though big in the waist, their length would suit Felicity just fine.

_Creeaak! _Felicity froze when she heard footsteps on the stairs. _Who, besides me, comes up here! _Felicity thought with a panic. She held her breath, praying that whoever it was would just go away. But it was to no avail, the door slowly opened—Elizabeth! Felicity breathed a sigh of relief as she quickly hid the breeches behind her back.

"Oh Lissie! Nan told me the news. I came over as soon as I—Lissie? Whatever is behind you back?" Elizabeth said looking puzzlingly about the room. Felicity looked down at the floor, keeping both hands behind her back, she shifted from one foot to the other, trying to think of something to say. "Felicity," Elizabeth said as she slowly crossed the room, "you aren't planning on doing what I hope you are not planning on doing."

"I . . . ummm . . ." Felicity couldn't find the words; Elizabeth had caught her off guard.

Elizabeth reached behind Felicity and pulled the breeches.

"Elizabeth! Let me explain!" Felicity pleaded.

"Felicity Merriman!" Elizabeth reprimanded, "I dare say you are going to dress up in these breeches and go to that jail to see Ben!"

"I need to Elizabeth! I have to help him! Or at least try to!" Felicity cried, trying to pull the breeches from Elizabeth's tight grasp.

"No, Felicity! I can't let you! Did you even think about this rationally? It is a three days hard ride to Charles Town—at least! And there is a war going on, and if even if there wasn't, it is still no journey a lady should make by herself!" her voice on the rise.

"I need to go Elizabeth, Ben needs me."

"Felicity! Did it ever occur to you to ask your father? I doubt you did, did you?"

"No" she answered meekly.

"So you were just going to run off without notice?"

"No its not like that," Felicity's face was growing hot as she fought back tears.

What is it then? Do you know what kind of disgrace you could bring to your family? How would that reflect on your father? And mother? What about Nan and Polly? How would they feel having a beloved sister bring disgrace to the family? Nan would resent you forever and you know it. How would others view them? Did you think of any of this?"

What could Felicity say, she hadn't. She hung her head in burning shame.

"The battle field is no place for a lady!" Elizabeth yelled.

At least this Felicity had an answer for, her temper flaring in shame, she argued, shaking her hands wildly as if trying to draw a picture in the air. "Hundreds of women go to the encampments to be with their sons or husbands or sweethearts. What of all those women at Valley Forge? And that woman, Mary . . . Mary hays! She even went on the battle field and manned her husband's cannon."

"Felicity, those women were of lower station than you----and many of them were married! You are not."

"Elizabeth Cole you know as well as I that many of those women were not of lower station than I, many were of even higher class so do not use that as an argument. Missus Washington spends the winter with her husband, she is accustom to far greater comforts than you or I. It doesn't matter what your station, those women up north they were there to support the ones they love." Felicity's voiced broke and in a shaken tone continued, "To let them know that there is someone there for them, some reason to fight and to live. Ben needs that right now."

"And what about Henry? Did you consider his feelings? His pride? You a running off to see another man, unescorted!"

"Ben is first and foremost in my heart," Felicity's bright green eyes welled with tears, "I cannot bear to loose him again."

"Hullo? Felicity? Elizabeth? Is everything alright up there? I heard shouting." Nan's light voice cut though the tension as she called up to the loft.

Felicity's eyes pleaded with Elizabeth not to utter a word.

"No, Nan everything is well up here, 'twas just a silly argument," Elizabeth stuck her head out the door and called down.

Nan's eyes grew large as she took note of Elizabeth's usually composed face, now red and blotchy. Nan nodded and backed out of the barn, closing the door carefully on her way out.

"This is mad, Felicity. And dangerous." Elizabeth's tone was slow and deliberate.

"Strong women can take it—PATRIOT women are not sissies like _English_ women are." Felicity retorted hotly, her words stung brutally at Elizabeth's heart.

"I am sorry you feel that way Felicity." Elizabeth handed the breeches back to Felicity and turned to leave. "Ask yourself, Felicity Merriman, is running off to Ben worth hurting your family and friends."


	18. Chapter 18

As soon as Elizabeth shut the door, Felicity gathered up all her contraband and shoved it under the bed. Sitting back on her heels she tried wiping away the stead flow of tears. Her temper clouded her mind causing her to weep harder, she got up and flung herself onto Ben's bed and wept into his pillow. Everything was so wretched. Her heart ached; she had never had such a disagreement with Elizabeth before. _Elizabeth who was always there for her, who listened to her joys and heartaches, did not understand her on this_.

Worn out from her fight with Elizabeth, Felicity eventually cried herself to sleep. A few hours later she was awoken by her father.

"It is almost time to eat, Lissie dear." He said softly, sitting down on the bed. "Why Lissie, you have been crying! Whatever is the matter child?"

"Oh Father, I, I . . ." Felicity threw her arms around her father and he held her tight.

"Dry your tears and tell me what troubles you."

Looking up at her father, Felicity wiped her tears with the palm of her hand. With a deep breath she began, "Father, I want to go see Ben. Even if I do not get to see him I at least want to try."

"Felicity, you know that—" Father began, but Felicity interrupted.

"I know you are going to say it is foolish and dangerous, but I have to try. I cannot sit her wondering any longer. You would fight through ice and fire for Mother, why can't I for Ben. I have to know he's alright."

Mister Merriman to a deep breath, he had no idea Lissie felt so strongly about Ben. "It is different, Lissie. . . . You have a letter from him, you at least know that much."

"I have to try, to at least have the knowledge that I did." Felicity pleaded.

"That is a tall task you want, my child."

Playing with the edge of the quilt, Felicity confessed, "I was going to try and help him. I was going to just leave without your permission— "

"—Felicity!"

"I didn't think you would understand–that you would stop me. But I had to see him . . . Elizabeth stopped me, we had a terrible fight. I am afraid I said something awful to her. I'm sorry Father! I've made a mess of things, but I just had to see Ben!"

"Seeing Ben maybe impossible."

"I need to fight for what I believe, even if the task is impossible."

". . . you, you must truly love Ben." Mister Merriman said with some understanding of his daughter.

"Aye, I do."


	19. Chapter 19

Mister Merriman safely secured his saddle bag onto his horse and turned to hug his family good-bye.

"Be safe," Mrs. Merriman warned as she picked some invisible lint off his blue wool coat.

"Give our love to Ben. Tell him he's in our prayers," Nan kissed her father's cheek.

"And that he is terribly brave." William added, giving him a hug.

"Aye, I'll do that." Mister Merriman replied tousling William's hair and lifting Polly up, the child giggled merrily, "I love you Papa!"

"Where's Felicity?" Mrs. Merriman questioned her husband with concern. The answer to her question came immediately as Felicity entered the yard leading Penny. Mrs. Merriman rushed over to her daughter and embraced her.

"Mind your father and be careful." She reminded, "Watch over each other." And then, almost to herself she continued, "I still disapprove of your father taking a young woman on such a trip." Felicity's father was taking her with him to Charles Town to see if they could find Ben. Mister Merriman had found out that prisoners held captive in Charles Town often received charity visits from women in town. Those held prisoners aboard prison ships faired much worse. If Ben was just a captive in a prison, they had a chance at seeing him.

Polly threw her arms around Felicity's waist, "Come home soon! I'll miss you too much!"

"Don't worry love, I will be home soon," Felicity assured her sister with a hug. It was time to go. Felicity and her father mounted their horses and trotted off, waving good-bye to their family. As they made their way up Francis' Street, Felicity paused in front of the Coles' house. She looked up towards Elizabeth's bedroom window with sad eyes. She looked back at her father, "Can I say 'good-bye' to Elizabeth before we leave?"

"Mend your bridge, I'll wait for you."

Felicity jumped off her horse and made her way to the house. Knocking politely the Merriman's maid answered the door.

"Good day Hester, is Elizabeth home?"

"I'm sorry Miss Felicity, she isn't takin' callers today." Hester told her.

"Alright, could you tell her I called? And that I'm sorry." Felicity asked and with Hester's assurance that she would do so, Felicity turned to leave, but a call from the stairs stopped her.

"Wait!" Elizabeth called from the top of the grand staircase.

"Oh Elizabeth, I'm so sorry for the terrible things I said!" Felicity cried, rushing past Hester and meeting Elizabeth halfway up the stairs. "I didn't mean them. You have always been a faithful friend and I love you dearly."

"Oh Lissie!" Elizabeth hugged her. But in a somber tone, she continued, "You really hurt me Felicity."

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to, can you ever forgive me?" Felicity was near tears, she would never truly mean to hurt her best friend.

"Well I guess. 'Twould be perfectly awful being mad at my best friend forever." Elizabeth laughed and Felicity knew all was forgiven.

Felicity smiled, "I don't know what I would do without you."

Taking Felicity's arm, Elizabeth led her down the stairs, "Probably be perfectly lost and lonely," Elizabeth said with great self confidence---being engaged had definitely given her more spunk. "How about some cookies?" she suggested, leading the way to the kitchen, but Felicity pulled away towards the open front door.

"I can't now, I'm sorry, but Father's outside. We're going to Charles Town."

Elizabeth was shocked, "You are going where?" She smiled and waved politely at the waiting Mister Merriman through the wide opened door, but then quickly changed her demeanor, "You're doing what?!" she whispered.

"Tis fine Elizabeth, I talked to my Father and he understood once I explained—like you said. We are going to Charles Town to see Ben together."

"That's . . . wonderful . . ." Elizabeth said, unsure.

"I will tell you all about it when I get back! I shall miss you." Felicity said in a hurry, kissing Elizabeth's cheek and she quickly walked out the door.

"Felicity?" Elizabeth stopped her, "Have you told Henry?"

"You have to tell him, it is unfair to hurt him as well. Good-bye, Felicity. Come home soon." Elizabeth smiled as she waved. Felicity thought she heard disappointment in her voice.


	20. Chapter 20

It was a hard three days ride to Charles Town through worn-torn countryside and over dusty dirt paths, but eventually Felicity and her father reached their destination. The dirt roads narrowed and became paved with stone and brick as the compact city emerged, full of tall, stately homes and private businesses. Father had spoken with a Redcoat who was blocking the roadway and he permitted them to enter the city. Charles Town had much more hustle and bustle than Williamsburg and the excitement of it all widened Felicity's eyes and dropped her jaw, even under siege Charles Town was full of sights to see. Felicity held Penny's reigns tightly as they trotted through the city proper and then along the harbor road where tall privateers were docked, their masts and rigging creating a forest overhead. She watched as the ships' crew shouted orders at one another, unloading their cargo as the Royal Navy marched orderly along the docks. The stench of fresh sea water mixed with dead fish and that of human waste stunk Felicity's nose, but she said nothing, the somber look mixed with determination that was in her father's eyes told her to hold her tongue and to follow him. Ragamuffin children, no older than William, darted through the streets and Felicity was sure she saw one steal some bread from a cart. As they made their way away from the harbor she saw the devastating aftermath of a battle. The blacked skeletons of burned out houses and brick, broken by cannon balls were the remains of the Redcoats' attack on the city. Felicity saw the destroyed remnants of a liberty pole in the destroyed community, the tattered remains of the Patriot's flag lay in the dirt. She so much wanted to jump off her horse and salvage the flag that meant so much to her, and so many more, but she knew she couldn't. She just shivered at the thought of so much destruction in a place where families like her own lived their quiet lives. If it could happen here, what was stopping it from happening in Williamsburg? That thought remained in her head until they reached the inn where she and her father would be staying while in town.

As they approached the tall brick building, the smell of fresh bread danced in the air. A plump, jolly lady greeted they and took them to their rooms.

"Oh, I just love visitors! Of course I do, of course I do—they bring in them money. But those from outta town, they be bringing news and we haven't had many people from outside the city come in since the siege. Oh yes, I've seen me share of British officers, dashing youn' fellows, but I be missin' me regular ol' gents. No, haven't seen much of those at all in a while, 'tis a rare thing to get in and out of this city if you not be in the Red's army and now look, you bring me a sweet girlie." The innkeeper chatted a way as she showed them to their rooms, "What be your business in Charles Town?"

"Business." Mister Merriman quickly answered, eyeing Felicity to keep quiet.

"Well, welcome to Charles Town! Dinner be at 6 sharp. Here is your rooms." The innkeeper continued, unlocked the door to a small white washed room, your daughter can stay in the next room over, here is the key. If you need anythin' don't hesitate to ask. Just ask for Ms. Plumby."

"Thank you very much madam for your aid," Mister Merriman graciously said as Felicity bobbed a curtsy, "We greatly appreciate your generosity."

&&&

After the two Merrimans settled into their rooms, Father left Felicity in the room to go see if he could locate were exactly Ben was held.

"Please take me with you!" Felicity begged holding her father's hand in her own.

"No, stay here 'til I fetch you." he sternly ordered, "And I mean stay here or I will take you back to Williamsburg at once and there will be no seeing Ben at all!" Father was so stern that Felicity knew she had better not disobey, a thought she had been considering. After Father left, Felicity settled in a huff in a chair next to the window and gazed out into the city. _This is so unfair . . . maybe if I go out for just a bit he will never know_ she thought and headed out the door and tiptoed down the stairs. She glanced around nervously, trying to escape unnoticed. Satisfied, she stepped out into the warm sun and made her way down the cobblestone street. She walked up one street and then down another, not really sure of where she was going. She was amazed at how different from Williamsburg it all was. The houses were much closer together and, Felicity felt a gruff hand on her shoulder.

"And what be your business in these part of town?" a gnarled voice asked her. Felicity whirled around to see who the hand belonged to and found a disheveled British soldier. She could smell the stale stench of alcohol on his breath and he was badly in need of a shave—and a bath.

"My business is my own, unhand me!" she commanded.

"That's no way to speak to a gentleman." He cooed in a mocking tone, bringing himself closer to her.

Felicity recoiled at the foul stench and abruptly dropped her shoulder, hopping to loosen his grip, "If there was a gentleman present I would not be inclined to speak so—unhand me!" she demanded again with more force. The man did not comply; instead he put his other hand on her shoulder as well. Felicity grew frightened, instinctively her violently shoo both her shoulders to loosen her attacker's grip and then kicked him in the groin. As he doubled over in pain, Felicity seized the opportunity to make a run for it and tore up the street as fast as she could. Glancing around she saw that the street was abandoned and turned up another black, looking for someone to help her. As she kept running she became more and more lost in the maze of streets.

"I should have listened to Father, I am so lost!" she muttered to herself as she found herself at an intersection, not knowing which way to turn. _Of all the times for the streets to be abandoned, it has to be in my hour of need_ she thought. Not meaning to, she let out a whimper, "Please someone help me."

"What would you give me in return?" a small voice answered. Felicity braced herself and slowly turned to find a small beggar child of about six looking eagerly up at her. She breathed a sigh of relief to find that the voice belonged to a harmless child.

"I'll give you a shilling for your services," she said and the boy nodded in agreement, his matted dirty blond hair falling in his eyes.

"Follow me!" he said grabbing her hand and then started running down the street. "My name's Jonah!"

"Felicity. Why . . . why are we running?" Felicity huffed, out of breath, as she followed at his heels.

"You want to beat your father, don't you?" Felicity almost stopped in her tracks.

"How did you know about that?"

"I like to wander near the inn, people always are around there and I like to watch. I saw you two go to the inn together, but then he left without you and then you came out lookin' all nervous-like and glancing over your shoulder like you were sneaking. So I just guessed." the boy said all-knowingly. "I like to watch people, I learned to read them." Felicity was impressed at such an insightful child.

"We're here!" he cried triumphantly.

"Thank you so much, Jonah." Felicity said, placing one hand on her stomach and the other on a post supporting the covered porch of the inn as she caught her breath.

"Any time." He smiled. Felicity took a good look at him standing there. His crystal blue eyes and matted dirty-blond hair, the smudges on his face from dirt and soot. He was so small!

"Jonah, where do you live?"

"Around." He answered, looking down at the ground.

"Oh Jonah!" her heart went out to the child.

"I take care of myself!" he said defiantly.

"But what about your parents?"

"They died, so now I take care of my self."

"You poor thing!" Felicity felt the urge to give him a hug.

"I'm doing alright. The shilling you promised will be a big help." He looked up at her eagerly. Felicity opened her purse and place several small coins in his little palm. His eyes grew wide at such a reward. "Thank you Felicity!"

"Thank you Jonah for helping me." She smiled at him, he reminded her of William. _Little boys love food _she remembered thinking of her brother snatching cookies from the kitchen. "Wait here, I'll see if I can get you something to eat."

"Sure," he shrugged and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

"Wonderful, I'll be but a minute." And Felicity rushed into the inn. "Ms. Plumby?" she called softly as she walked down the main hall. "Ms. Plumby? . . . Ms. Plumby!" She found her in the kitchen trying to manage a million things at once. "Ms. Plumby, could I—?"

"I'm a little busy dear—could you grab that pot before it boils over? That's a dear. Umpf," she lifted a heavy bucket onto the table. "things were so much easier when John was alive and was here to help." She said as she pushed her sweaty bangs back from her face.

Felicity took interest, "Ms. Plumby? Do you run this inn all by yourself?"

"Why yes dear, ever since my John died two years back. But I manage."

A stroke of genius hit Felicity and her eyes sparked with sudden interest. "Don't you ever want help?"

"Well sometimes me borders help out, can't afford them decent help, but I manage in the end."

"Don't you get lonely?"

"I run an inn, child! Things be rarely borin' and lonesome 'round here! Why do you ask?"

"Well, there is this child . . ."

"Oh no, I don't be needin' any youngins under my feet!" she shook a wooden spoon at Felicity.

"But this boy is strong and I'm sure he won't be any trouble. He has no family and is all alone! Please, just meet him! He's right outside."

"What?!" she wiped her hands on a towel, "Well, the child must be needed some bread and butter. Let's see him." And she followed Felicity to the front porch.

"Ms. Plumby, may I present Jonah!" Felicity said presenting the small child. Jonah looked startled as she stared at Felicity, but then he remembered his manners.

"Hullo, madam." Jonah bowed his head in recognition.

Ms. Plumby's heart melted, "Darlin' come in and have something' to eat! And let's see if we can get you washed up a bit and have you lookin' more proper-like." And she put her arm around Jonah and led him into the house. Felicity smiled with satisfaction and followed them inside.

A little while later Mister Merriman returned to find Felicity and a freshly washed Jonah happily sitting in the dinning room.

"Well, it seems like you have made a new friend." He kissed his daughter on the top of the head.

"Father, this is Jonah."

"How do you do? Are you here with your parents?"

Felicity saw she was trapped, how was she going to explain to her father how she met Jonah without admitting to him that she had disobeyed and gone out into the city by herself. However, Jonah, being an expert at reading people, immediately saw her predicament.

"No sir, I came to visit Ms. Plumby, she's a friend." He smiled up at Felicity, "Just like Felicity is."

"I'm glad to hear that, Jonah. Any friend of Felicity's is a friend of mine." He smiled warmly at the child.

Felicity breathed a mental sigh of relief, but she was bursting with anxiousness.

"Did you find where Ben is?" Felicity asked eagerly.

"Yes, I'll take you there tomorrow. I want to warn you though; he is in a jail and has been for many months. I just want you to be prepared."

"Yes Father." Felicity said solemnly, her short adventure in the city had opened her eyes. Her life at home had been so sheltered, but there was so much more to the world than the quiet life she had in Williamsburg.


	21. Chapter 21

The next day Felicity woke bright and early. She had hardly been able to sleep at night. She was happy that Jonah had found a warm place to sleep tonight as he was staying in one of the empty rooms. She had pulled out the few worn letters she had received from Ben and read them over and over again in the moonlight. The pale parchment was stained with mud from wherever Ben was encamped, she could see where his hand shook from cold and where his tears mixed with hers on the page. For the past three years the Ben she knew existed only on paper, she couldn't wait to see him in person again. She fell asleep hugging the letters to her chest. But her peaceful slumber was short lived. Her dreams were consumed by nightmares. She saw the drunk British soldiffer chase after her, laughing greedily as she ran towards Ben. She kept running, but could never reach him. The drunk British soldier grabbed her as she struggled to break free. Ben gallantly came to her rescue with a sword drawn and fought with the soldier to free her. The battle was fierce, but finally Ben slayed the Redcoat and Felicity ran towards his awaiting arms. She was finally going to be in his arms. Finally be able to feel the warmth of his mouth on hers, to feel his hands caress her body. Ashe was finally going to be with—a look of horror and shock passed over Ben's face and his slowly fell over into her arms. As he was falling, Felicity saw over his shoulder, Henry, standing with a musket in hand, with smoke rising from the barrel. She looked at her own hands, holding the slumped Ben, and they were covered in blood.

Felicity bolted upright in bed, breathing heavily. She looked at her pale hands in the fading moonlight. _It was just a dream_ she thought, trying to relax, but her heart was racing. She walked over to the basin and splashed water on her face, _it was just a dream._ She said to herself again, and climbed back into bed. When the sun rose she took special care in dressing. She put on a raspberry-colored dress that had tone-on-tone embroidery and curled the ends of her hair with clay curlers. She packed a basket with bandages and medicine, remembering that Ms. Plumby had promised her a loaf of bread. Peering into the looking glass she studied herself; Ben had not seen her in years, what would he think?

Mister Merriman knocked on the door, "Felicity? Are you almost ready? Breakfast will be served soon." Felicity answered the door, "Oh, Lissie, you look lovely," he smiled fondly. "Will you escort an old man to his breakfast?"

Taking his arm, she playfully reprimanded him, "Father! You are not old!" when the arrived in the dinning room, Jonah was already there, placing a plate of eggs on the table. Setting the dish down, he rushed over to Felicity and hugged her.

"I'm going to live with Ms. Plumby! I'm going to help her run the inn!" he explained happily.

"Jonah! I'm so happy for you!" she hugged him back.

&&&

After breakfast, Mister Merriman took Felicity to the jail where Ben was being held. Along the way, Felicity saw the tattered flag lying in the dirt as British soldiers walked over it. She paused for a moment, then continued on her way. Finally they reached a gray, stone building.

"I am going to stay out here and watch the horses while you go in, be careful," Mister Merriman said, taking Penny's reigns.

"Thank you Father," Felicity hugged him and went inside the jail.

Stepping inside, it took a minute for her eyes to adjust from the light. She found the jail keeper sitting with his feet on the desk, eating an apple.

"What can I do for you, miss?" she said, sitting up straight.

"I was wondering if I may visit a prisoner?" she asked sweetly.

"Your not one of the regular women that come to visit them, is there a rebel in particular that you want to see or are you here on charity to the lot?"

Felicity just smiled sweetly and lowered her eyes, a tip she had learned from Elizabeth on how to get your way with men. "A little of both I guess."

It worked, the officer smiled and unlocked the door. "You have one hour, that's all, if they give you any trouble just holler."

Felicity thanked him and walked down the long hall, surrounded by prisoners behind cold iron bars. The stench made her dizzy, there was almost no light and the air was foul. As she walked down the corridor, desperate men held out their hands to her, some asking for food, others water, even more catcalling.

"Just a kiss lass, for a poor soldier!" they called. Felicity's eyes scanned their desperate and defeated faces, looking for Ben. Her heart broke to see their faces, face full of promises, now weak from lack of sunlight and good food. Their bright eyes were encircled by dark bags, their clothing dirty and wrinkled.

"Ben?" she called weakly, the sight of it all was too hard to bear, it crushed down on her heart.

&&&

Ben sat in his cell as close to the tiny barred window as possible, trying to breath in the fresh air. Zachary was huddled in the corner, shivering, despite of the heat. "Is it nice out?" he asked weakly.

"Beautiful." Ben answered with a sad smile. He picked up his jacket lying on the ground and draped it over Zachary's shoulders.

"Thank you," Zachary's teeth chattered.

"Come on mate," Ben vigorously rubbed Zachary's shoulders, trying to stimulate blood for warmth, "think of the sun, think of your wife."

"I'm afraid I might not see her again," he said with a cough.

"That's no way to think, you can do it, be strong." Ben tried to give his friend hope.

"Ben! Look here! A fine lass is in the jail! What a beauty," Nathaniel whistled and Ben crawled over for a look.

"You know, that's no way to treat a lady," John said lackadaisically, reprimanding Nathaniel for his whistle, "you all are gawking shamelessly."

Pushing his head out the bars for a better look, Ben's heart skipped a beat. His eyes were deceiving him, it couldn't be. He had seen her so often in his dreams. He rubbed his eyes and blinked, she was still there!

"Felicity?" he whispered. The girl heard him. She rushed to his cell and fell on her knees, surrounded by her billowing skirt and she fell.

"Ben!" she cried softly, grabbing his hand that was grasped tightly around the bar.

"Can it be? Am I dreaming?" he whispered in disbelief, his heart was pounding in his ears. There was a tingling sensation throughout his body, he couldn't believe his eyes. It couldn't be.

"No, I'm here, it's me," she pressed his hand to her cheek and Ben closed his eyes, contently smiling as his heart raced.

"I've seen you so often in my dreams, I never imagined . . ." he opened his eyes and studied her face, using his thumb to trace the lines of her head, cheek bones, and finally her lips. "You are more beautiful than I remembered." Felicity smiled and lowered her eyes.

"Ben, I have missed you so. I've been so worried."

"I didn't want you to worry,"

"I worry because I care," Felicity admitted slowly, her heart was in her throat as she said it.

As soon as she said it, Ben reached out. With his hand behind her head, he pulled her in for a kiss through the bars. It surprised both of them, but then, the daringness of the whole encounter surprised them. The kiss was short, warm and sweet. Felicity pulled back for a minute, blinking back tears. She looked at Ben's face, inches from hers and saw the tears in his eyes. He fiercely pulled her in for another kiss, this one more passionate than the first. The salt of their tears mingled and rested on their lips, their hearts pounding. Pulling back, their ears heard the whistles and cheers of the men around them. Felicity and Ben both blushed wildly, and retreated within themselves.

"Leave them alone, boys. You all have your own sweethearts at home, let the boy have a few moments with his!" Stephen roared.

Glancing back into the cell, "Felicity, may I introduce Stephen,"

"Nice to meet you miss,"

"John,"

"Pleasure to meet you,"

"Nathaniel"

"You've got spunk, Felicity to come all the way here. Ben's told us about you, you are one special lass," Nathaniel grinned wildly.

" and Zachary." Zachary coughed and nodded in recognition. Felicity smiled and nodded to each one as Ben introduced them. When Zachary coughed, she remembered her basket.

"I brought you something," she passed the bread, bandages, blanket, and medicine through the bars. Ben passed the blanket and medicine to John who brought them over to the ailing Zachary.

"Will he be alright?" Felicity asked with concern, peering back into the cell.

"I hope. . . . So . . . so how have you been?" he asked, shyly. Felicity told him about Elizabeth and James, about Penny and Patriot, her family and about Jonah. Ben listened intently, like he always did, and by the end of the story Felicity was crying.

"It all seems so silly! Here you are fighting a war and I was worried about dresses and dancing lessons! I was so sheltered! So ignorant! And I am ashamed, I'm a horrible Patriot! I could have done so much more to help, to help you, to help the cause!"

"Don't you say that! Helping Jonah like you did? You gave him what Jefferson talks about in his Declaration. You gave him a new life, one that was better than the old. You gave him liberty, he is no longer under the tyranny of others because he a beggar, he can make his own decisions, he has a future now. And you gave him happiness; he has a warm home, good food, and someone to care for him. And now, now you are giving me hope and strength to persevere. To make it out of here and come back to you." Felicity wept silently with her forehead pressed against the bars. Ben used his thumb to wipe away her tears, leaning close he whispered, "You given me hope, you've introduced me to love."

Felicity hiccupped, and smiled up at Ben through her tear-stained face. He softly kissed her forehead, "My Lissie." He murmured. As he held her head to his lips, letting it rest there for a few minutes, neither of them saying anything.

"The hour's up miss!" the guard's voice echoed down the hall.

"Have faith, I'll be home soon." Ben whispered as the tears fell from his brown eyes. He gave Felicity a quick kiss good-bye on the cheek and Felicity got up to leave. As she walked down the hall, the sound of her hiccups as she choked back her tears echoed off the walls. Right before she walked out the door, she glanced over her shoulder; Ben could see the tears streaming down her cheeks. She mouthed the words "I love you," right before she turned to go.

&&&

Stepping out of the jail, Felicity found her father and fell into his arms, weeping.


	22. Chapter 22

Mister Merriman held Felicity tightly as he whispered "my dear girl," over and over, petting her copper head. When she finally regained her composure, they headed back to the inn, father leading as Felicity slowly followed behind. As they passed the destroyed Liberty Pole, Felicity jumped off her horse and picked up the tattered flag, lying so forlorn in the dirt. Stuffing it into the leather saddle bag, she mounted Penny and hurried to catch up to her father.

At the inn, Felicity asked Ms. Plumby for a sewing box.

"Got some mendin' to do?" Ms. Plumby asked as she searched in a cabinet for the box.

"Something like that," Felicity mumbled and thanked Ms. Plumby for the sewing box. Back in her room, Felicity shut the door and pulled out the ragged remains of the stars and stripes from her bag. She poured water out of the white porcelain pitcher and into the basin and gently scrubbed the material with soap. When the water became murky with the dirt, she poured water out the window and filled the basin again with water and rinsed the material. Wringing it out, she pressed it between the folds of the old patchwork quilt on the end of the bed to get any excess water out.

Though the material was still damp, Felicity sat in the chair by the window and began repairing it. She painstakingly took care with her stitches, making sure they were tiny and even. She worked all afternoon. As she mended the stars she noticed a few were missing completely. Rubbing a remaining star between her thumb and forefinger, she gazed out the window. After a few minutes she put the down on the small table and she picked up the scissors and bent over. Lifting her dress to reveal her white petticoat, she cut a square off the bottom and cut the missing stars out of the fabric.

Later in the afternoon Jonah came looking for her, he knocked on the door _rat tat tat rat tat tat_, "Felicity! Are you in there!" the little boy called, looking for a playmate. Holding the flag she opened the door and Jonah energetically ran in. "What are you doing?" he asked pointing to the flag in her hand.

"I'm fixing the stars and stripes." She answered, looking down at the colors in her hand.

"Like the banner that the Patriots wave," Jonah said waving an imaginary flag in his hands. Felicity laughed as she watched him. In just a day Jonah had transformed back into the small carefree child that he should be. He had experiences that had made him act much more mature than he was ready for and now he was able to have the burden of if he was going to eat and where he was going to sleep day by day, lifted.

"Come sit with me." She led him to the chair and sat down. "Do you know what the Stars and Stripes stands for?"

"The thirteen colonies."

"Your right," she hugged him, "The flag of the United States is made of thirteen stripes, alternate red and white; that the union be thirteen stars, white in a blue field, representing a new Constellation. The flag is a symbol of our country, united as one. Each of the thirteen stars represents a colony and they are placed in a circle so that each colony is equal, no one greater than the other. Each color has a different meaning. The blue field represents fairness, faithfulness, and sincerity. The red stripes represent courage and bravery, and white is for faith and purity."

Jonah ate her words as Felicity lovingly explained the meaning of flag, her eyes glistening. When she was done he asked her what she was going to do with it.

Holding it up for inspection, she smiled and said, "I think I know somewhere where it can renew faith and remind the people of their courage which is helping them to fight this war."

"Can I go with you when you bring it to that place?" Jonah asked eagerly.

Felicity smiled proudly at him, "Yes you may."

&&&

The next morning Felicity and her father prepared to leave for Williamsburg. Ms. Plumby prepared a basket for the journey. After she was done preparing the basket of goodies, Ms. Plumby pulled Felicity aside.

"I never thanked you for bringing Jonah to me. In these past three days he comes to world to me, just lookin' into those beautiful little eyes and seein' that sweet face," she dabbed the tears in her eyes, "ye has brought some higher purpose to my life again. You have brought me someone to love and someone who needs me. Not a boarder, but a family . . . I've been lonesome in away these past few years, and now . . ." Ms. Plumby got all choked up.

Gently patting her on the back to soothe her, Felicity said softly, "you two looked as though you needed each other."

Ms. Plumby blew her nose into her handkerchief, "Thank you Felicity."

"You're welcome." And Felicity went off in search of her Father. She found him preparing the horses. Stroking Penny's chestnut mane, Felicity asked her father for permission to drop off the flag.

"There is something Jonah and I have to do before we leave, may we go?"

"Felicity, we have a long journey ahead of us and I do not want to delay. We need to get a good distance before sundown; I've been away from the family and the store for much too long now."

"It's not too much out of the way and Jonah can make his way back to the inn by himself."

"Felicity! Where do you and Jonah want to go?"

Looking down at her shoes, Felicity admitted, "The jail."

Mister Merriman let out a deep, frustrated breath. "Felicity, I took you there yesterday, do you know how dangerous this all has been? I am a supporter of the Patriotic Cause. My store delivers supplies to the troops. I can easily find myself thrown in jail with Ben if I displease someone here. We are lucky to have found an inn where its keeper's only political loyalty is to money, but going to the jail again is tempted trouble. I cannot allow it." He whispered with fustration.

"Jonah will be careful, trust me. This package is of utmost importance."

Mister Merriman held out his hand and took the package from felicity's reluctant hands, unwrapping it he found the mended flag. He sighed and handed the package back to Felcitiy. "You and Jonah have a half hour." Felicity smiled and started to rush off to find Jonah but her father stopped her saying, "Felicity, you have asked a lot of me these past few days, and I have conceded. You have disobeyed me and I have over looked it, and now I am allowing you this. But mark my words, when we return home I want you to be on your best behavior. I hope you have learned something during this trip." Finishing, he turned back to grooming his horse.

Felicity found Jonah in the kitchen munching on a piece of bread. She beckoned for him to come and he followed like a puppy.

"can you get us to the jail and back within the half hour?" she asked.

"will for a shillin'" he grinned and took off running with Felicity at his heels.

"I wish you would stop running everywhere Jonah, 'tis fine for a bit, but you are not constricted to a corset!" she called after him, demanding that he slow his pace. Finally they reached the jail. Standing a block away, Felicity fanned her red face with her hand and pointed to the jail.

"See the second barred window from the right? That's where I want you to place the package. Push it through the bars so that it falls into the jail. But take care, those guards," she indicated to the Redcoats, roaming the perimeter of the jail, "mustn't see you for we will be in a tremendous amount of trouble if we are."

"Don't worry, I'm used to being unseen," Jonah assured her and darted off with the flag wrapped in butcher paper to the jail. Pausing for a minute he waited until a guard rounded the corner and then crept up towards the empty window. Felicity watched, suddenly regretting putting Jonah in harm's way for her own selfishness. _What if he gets caught_ she thought and then horror seized her heart as she saw a guard come into view of her and Jonah. Jonah must have noticed him too out of the corner of his eye for he tossed the package through the bar with a well placed shot and then took off back towards Felicity.

"You there!" the guard called, "Halt!"

Jonah turned without fear and looked up at the officer with sad eyes, "the butterfly got away." he explained innocently.

The guard looked at him skeptically, "and what is such a small child doing out near a jail by himself?" (Luckily Jonah was so small for his age from lack of eating that the guard thought him to be no more than four or five)

Jonah motioned for the guard to come down to his level and then whispered in his ear, "my older sister is sweet on a soldier, she was looking to see if he was here."

The guard glanced up to look at Felicity who just smiled weakly, not knowing what to do, _what was Jonah saying? He's a resourceful child but could he find his way out of this mess? _she wondered, still holding a forced smile at Jonah and the guard.

The guard smiled at Felicity and then turned back to Jonah, "Your sister is very fine indeed. Do you know which guard she is sweet on?"

"No sir." Jonah shook his head, trying to seem sympathetic towards the guard.

"Well find out—and put in a good word for me lad," he patted him on his head and sent him back to Felicity, calling, "the name's Jonathan Parker." He smiled and went back to his rounds.

Felicity held out both her hands to Jonah and welcomed him with a warm embrace. "Jonah, I am so sorry." she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Awww it was no trouble, the guard liked me."

Felicity was taken aback and let out a laugh. "Well I know you are an endearing little child, but what did you say to him?"

"Oh nothing," he said with an arrogant little jaunt, "just that my sister was sweet on a soldier and came here to see him."

"Oh you little snipe!" Felicity tweaked his nose and she and Jonah laughed the entire way back to the inn.

&&&

Back at the inn saying good-bye to Jonah was extremely difficult. He hugged her and wouldn't let go, begging her to stay.

"I love you Felicity! You are my bestest friend!" he cried. Felicity assured him that someday their paths would meet again and then her and her father took off for home.


	23. Chapter 23

Ben leaned against the stone wall; gazing up at the cold ceiling he kept reliving the encounter in his mind, smiling.

Cough "You are thinking about Felicity," Zachary said with a smile.

"She was a vision," Nathaniel added with a long whistle.

"Pardon!" Ben exclaimed, bolting upright, ready to defend Felicity's honor. But Nathaniel didn't bother to pull himself off the cool dirt floor where he was lying under the window. "I was only teasing," he said coolly. Ben gave him a hateful stare and then became lost in his daydreams again. Ben tried not to think that many a man in this prison was probably thinking about Felicity, she had become a beautiful lady and was a vision of beauty against the stark contrast of the bleak prison. Ben couldn't help remembering the soft touch of her milky skin, and the taste of her mouth.

"Ummpf! What the?" Nathaniel peered at the small package that had landed on his stomach Jumping up both Ben and Zachary peered out the barred window, wondering where it came from. All they saw were the shoes of a small child and the much larger ones of a man. They strained to hear the conversation between the two, but it was to no avail. Giving up, they sat back down and they all turned their attention to Nathaniel and the package.

"Go on, open it," Stephen urged and Nathaniel carefully tore the paper off.

Taking it from Nathaniel, Zachary commented, "This will make fine parchment to write Sarah," and he folded it neatly for later use. As he was doing so, Nathaniel unwrapped the enclosed cloth, revealing the stars and stripes. He smiled, "Well I'll be." The other prisoners in the adjacent cells all came close to the bars on their cages to peer at the flag, smiling at the once ragged material, now beautifully mended. Many cheered and others said a few words of prayer. This symbol meant so much to them and it meant even more that it had been once destroyed, forgotten and forlorn, much like they felt trapped in their dismal cages. The flag had been revived out of the depths of despair, much like they hoped to soon be.

"But where did it come from?" John questioned. But Ben knew. Glancing out the window, he smiled and whispered, "Thank you, Felicity."


End file.
